-
2011-11-01 | 7:47 p.m.
"when i am angry all these things run through my mind and in math class i almost cry several times and i know that boy who reminds me of donnie darko saw me almost cry and it made me feel worse for almost crying in math class because dr. adongo bought us all pizza and it was really nice and i felt like he cared about me even though all he knows about me is my name and my math grades, because he got us pizza."
i've actually known that boy for a few years now, because he works at winslow. his name is ryan. it makes me want to go up to him and say, "hey ryan, i know this is creepy, but i had math class with you my freshman year." i don't know why i always want to tell people stuff like that.
"i cried on my birthday and i cried on valentine's day and technically i cried today because it was only 12:!5am when i got off the phone."
these things make me so incredibly sad. why did i do that to myself for so long? why?
"I feel so incredibly tired all of the time, literally, I never feel awake anymore. Just like I am never going to be able to catch up on sleep - then I sleep for twelve hours and I don't feel any better. I exercise and I still don't feel any better. I consume less sugar and gross stuff and don't feel any better. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I am just supposed to be tired like this, all of the time."
that was over two years ago. i still feel that same way.
i just feel so strange lately. sorry. sorry for updating so much.