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11.10.20 | 7:35 pm
a friend messaged me today saying she and her sister (who i met for lunch a year ago when they were in this part of the country) were laughing remembering that guy i used to date -- the married one!
she was of course talking about mish. and "date" is a strong word, considering at best we just spent the weekend together.
but... i just don't think i've done a very good job these last three years. or, like, ever, i guess.
sure, i've learned a lot. but i don't think much of it was necessary in terms of the way i learned it. i could've learned those things from other situations or circumstances...
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tomorrow i'm officially going to send the emails to pull out of the program this year. i know this is the right decision -- i really, honestly do -- but god does it suck.
i tried to cheer myself up by making this list of things i can accomplish during this year back home but my life isn't going to magically change just because i'm here, just because i wrote some things on paper. i don't know.
i'm so tired. this fall break feels like it's been such a waste.