where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart...
2011-07-25 | 11:07 a.m.


here are some things:

when i get home, i think i am going to dip-dye my hair either purple or blue.

then i am sure it will take me a couple of weeks being in this insane heat that will make me want to cut all of my hair off.

so, that's exciting.

i went to Scotland this weekend, and it was beautiful. i climbed up two mountains. literally.

there are lots of changes going on with me, i can feel them. and it's a good thing, most of the time. i have been incredibly adventurous when i think about it, this whole summer: i've caught up on so many things, tried so many things, i've never made so many new friends so quickly in my whole life. and they're such good people and i love them all.

i feel that this may seem rebellious, like an eager teenager. but i'm not... not in my head. i am just more willing to try anything right now.

i am so incredibly excited to move into that house on poplar, to have my OWN room again, to decorate it how i want, to always be surrounded by friends, by people i love, to where i am UNABLE to shut myself up and stay away.

this upcoming semester is going to be crazy but i've never looked forward to anything more (except for maybe London).

i love moving around all of the time, you're always walking somewhere here, and you can't stay secluded in your room, it's practically impossible. i'm going to do homework with hannah in the park tonight.

my heart still hurts and it's still on a regular basis. i don't want to lie about that. i've repeated myself to the point of exhaustion, but i think everyone knows the story by now.

i just want to move on, i want to occupy my time with more important things, i want to be ready for the rest of my life, i want to chill out and be spontaneous and not freak out about everything. i don't have a reason to anymore, do i? i cut it out of my life. now if i fuck everything up, it's completely my fault. and in a lot of ways, that's liberating.


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