a direct reflection on me
2011-11-13 | 7:59 p.m.


i feel like crying; i am a fucking bucket full of emotions lately and i seriously don't understand.

why is it that you only talk to me when you want to complain to someone? does no one care to ask about how i am? maybe that is an unrealistic expectation.

for fuck's sake.

why do i keep thinking about eric? at random times? i asked lanson his birthday and it is august 13. that's eric's birthday. it really brings me down and i don't understand.

did i really shut myself off? is that what happened? because i know that soon after, i was perfectly fine. i really was. i went to london. i had an amazing time. i came back, and soon after i was done with him.

and now i wonder about him. not in ways that i would ever think about getting back together with him. in ways that i worry about him. that i think about how i hope he's happier. that he realizes we had a bad relationship. that i am not holding him back anymore.

why am i so ridiculous?

Laundry Room is one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard.

i will make sense of this. i want someone to give me a foot massage and to sit on the couch with and to have a conversation with. god, i am lacking that if nothing else.


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