on how i am not always that nice
2012-02-27 | 10:43 p.m.
-michael. poor, poor michael. i'm not entirely sure why he even liked me to begin with. he asked me on a date and i accepted, but we never actually went. when i came down here for kari's 21st, i asked if i could stay with him. this was very recently after i broke up with eric, two months or so. i was sure in his mind what this meant. and i thought, too, that i would be able to sleep with him if i chose to do so and perhaps i wouldn't have to be in a relationship with someone to do so.
however, i was wrong. i can't do that. and when he tried to kiss me, i obliged only so that i could go to sleep and he'd leave me alone. when he asked me the next morning to take a shower with him, i brushed him off repeatedly until he took me somewhere to get breakfast so that i could go home.
-matt m. i went on a date with him which was rather mediocre in my opinion. however, this boy told me sooo many things about himself (about how he is bipolar, has a bad relationship with his family, smokes weed every day) and complimented so many times (about how pretty, smart, and nice i am) that it made me uncomfortable. i didn't like it at all. but i let him kiss me because i wanted some kind of feeling of being wanted, i suppose. after that, he asked to see me again and i told him that i didn't have the time (which was incredibly and absolutely true, but still not very nice).
-khoa has essentially asked me out on a few dates but i either ignore it or deflect it just because i don't want to.
-anil was one of the indian workers who would constantly flirt with me while i was engaged to eric. for a while i flirted back, and i will admit to liking the attention, especially when eric didn't give me much of it at all. i lied to eric and almost had lunch with him right before the end of that school year, but he didn't show up. when he tried to reschedule (because he evidently overslept) i ignored him (i was embarrassed). he recently asked me on a date when he was coming back to visit the university. he even offered to drive me to nashville, to have a nice dinner, all kinds of silly things. due to a few choice things he said which i don't feel like repeating, i assumed that he thought he would get to sleep with me due to all of this. so when he called, i ignored it.
maybe you get what you give. karma and all that. maybe i get what i deserve and it's not quite as good as i expected it to be.