courtney and winslow
26.04.12 | 9:23 pm

last night, i sat on courtney's bed while she painted my fingernails and my toenails the prettiest slate blue color i've ever seen. (i've never been able to paint my nails well, so i just don't do it--same thing goes for makeup.) she's so meticulous, and now they look so good and so shiny and so different, because i'm so used to them being so plain.*

courtney and i had an interesting conversation the other night. see, she's never really had a boyfriend and she's never really needed one. i'd never heard her relent not having one and i never expected her to be quietly sad about it.** but that night, she had the saddest look on her face, this feeling maybe she'd missed out, that maybe she had stricken down every possible opportunity and she was the only one at fault.

i don't think i can describe how much i will miss her.

as these few weeks are winding down, it's this feeling of elation and a release of stress, but it's also this heart-wrenching pain for all those i will no longer see every day, for the places i won't be down the road from, for the spots i sit when i study in the library, for my job...

all of the full time workers are continually surprised that i'm graduating. at the manager meeting today, i said to josh, nancy, and mandy, "i don't understand why they're all so shocked at this!" and nancy came back with, "it's because you act like you're five." i'm not sure that being bubbly and excited about most things (cough-everything-cough) makes me seem so young.***

*let's see how many times i can say the word "so" in one sentence...

**let's also see how many times i can say "never" in one paragraph.

***but i've been wrong before.

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