i would like a positive turn please and thank you.
26.07.12 | 5:39 pm


i think my parents are legitimately worried about me because i kept saying, "if i have to work in food service i'll kill myself." and i mean considering things i guess they believe they have a reason to be worried.

they've been talking to me every day and reminding me that i can go home, that they'll help me find a job, i can live at home rent free.

poor, poor annie in the episode "mixology certification." also, poor abed. i feel a little bit like the both of them. like annie in the fact that i'm worried about my direction in life and like abed in that i just want someone to listen to me talk about the things i'm interested in.

seriously.

i'm really unhappy. i kind of really do want to go home.

and this is such a sad episode.

i miss feeling like i'm in a community of my own. i had that in high school. i missed it for the first three years of college, and then i found it again senior year. it's gone again.

i'm living with two of my best friends but something is different. is it my fault? the fact that i'm so sad? that i have no direction?

or is it something different, like because kayley isn't here anymore?

i want to feel like someone wants to take care of me. i don't get that. i should, but i don't feel it.

i want someone to want to talk to me. i don't know. and it's not that i don't have friends because i do and i love them. but i feel like i'm maxing out the credit or something.

"this is a dark chapter in our group's story."

i did it because i'm not sure who i am. and troy's response is the cutest thing ever.

i'm just... alone. and i hate where i am. i'm alone.


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