this entry is awful, disregard the mess.
12.11.12 | 12:48 pm


a few things.

1. i find out if i'm hired at the video store tomorrow.
2. it's precious when someone tells me to sleep well for them in lieu of goodnight.
3. one of the most often used phrases by me in the house lately: "seriously i hate you. HOW AM I A PART OF THIS FAMILY?"

needless to say i have dreams of moving out but i'm poor.

i'm currently looking to study abroad again in the spring of 2014, for an entire semester in manchester. i really, really hope this works out.

i just need to get away. i need to somehow get out of here or i may very well explode.

it's a constant thing here now: i am the black sheep of my family (and they all agree). and almost every single day now, either my father or one of my brothers must bring up something they know makes my blood boil, and pick at it and pick at it until i just leave the room. i don't understand why people do this. i don't.

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my baby.

it's suffocating when you're surrounded by people who do not care at all about the things you love and who can't even feign the slightest bit of interest for your sake. i've no one to turn to without driving 1+hours.

i don't know. anymore i just don't know.


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