you're my best friend, and i loooove you
10.05.13 | 2:06 am

"stick with these people, they seem good." you understand me more than anyone, i think.

tonight i was nominated/elected co-activities coordinator for the student association for graduates of english. it's not something i expected and it warmed my heart that these people think i'm fun. being around them makes me feel good about myself, as if i'm good enough.

matt told me to come visit him, that dacia and john would ride with me (they would). i miss him but i see his face more often now, like tonight when he was drinking whiskey straight from the bottle and telling me what a smart girl he thinks i am.

i'm not delusional. he lives in colorado and nothing will ever come of this. but he's my best friend and he makes me feel good about myself, he makes me feel funny and smart and kind and that all of these things are good. when i found out i got an A- on one of my final papers, he was the first person i told. his response? "of course you did. did you expect any different?"

i wonder how long it will take for someone else to acclaim such a high spot in my life.

it is so refreshing to see his face and his body language and his smile. "why did it take me so long to get this?!" he asks.

he's just the most perfect thing i've ever seen.

i know that's not good for me, but what else can i do?

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