31.07.13 | 1:45 am

i remember it may have been christmas eve, or a day or two before. eric and i were lying together on my daybed and he was falling asleep. he was still talking to me and i was stroking his hair.

for as long as i could remember by then (eighteen years old), all i had wanted was to get married and live in a little yellow house.

he brought up, while drifting to sleep, how much he wanted to marry me. i knew what was coming then. i knew what would happen on christmas. and as he closed his eyes, i pleaded with him, "wait another year. give me another year."

he didn't listen.

i don't think i've ever told anyone that before.

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