before midnight.
11.10.13 | 11:21 pm
there is a lot to be said about connecting with people, even on seemingly surface level things. like sitting across from someone you don't know very well at dinner, quoting your favorite tv shows or singing the same songs.
there is a lot to be said about connecting with people on very deep levels and feeling as though someone actually understands you. feeling as though they aren't about to shrug your problems off and return to their own.
life is all give and take. you can't give and give and give and expect to have anything left at the end of it.
more and more i am so appreciative of myself, of this person i've become. i'm purposefully kind and fiercely passionate about the people and things i care for and i try to be self sufficient.
even if i have weeks like this one, where on the inside all i actually want to do is crawl into my bed and lie there and maybe watch tv but definitely cry... at least i always pull myself out of it.
there are people who care for me as equally as i do for them and i am so grateful to feel that and to have that connection.
i am lucky to be talked to sleep every night.
i am lucky to come home from a long day and feel so comfortable with who i'm surrounded by and to be able to have this perfect puppy jump into my arms.
i am lucky to have parents who convince me to come home on the weekend so they can take me to the band competition.
every day this week when i have felt down and out, i would compose in my head how i would try to start a conversation about it with my friend. and then the feelings melted away.
i am going to start teaching next semester, i am going to finish my masters next year, i am going to present a paper or two at a conference, i am going to go somewhere out of kentucky, whether it be abroad or to the mountains or to the coast or to the neighboring state, and through it all i am going to be surrounded by wonderful people who care about me and vice versa.
isn't that what matters, after all?
my life is so full of love and this crazy happiness that always peeks through.
here comes the sun indeed.