you swept me away
16.01.14 | 10:57 pm

i learned today that my boyfriend is adopted. i want to know everything about him, devour every little bit of knowledge i can.

we are making plans for march when he flies down here. how we're going to stay the night in nashville with john and dacia, then come back to bg for a few days to just be together. he's meeting my family after that, and then we're going to mky for the weekend. his friends want to meet me. they say that we are cute together. they say i must be either really awesome or really crazy to be with him. i am nervous but i am mostly excited that matt is so excited for me to meet them.

for the past week or so, i've been here at this house alone. the heat is down really low so i won't have to pay a high bill, but i freeze in the process. every day i wake up, walk emma, work out in the living room, do yoga, cook like a madwoman (cajun chicken alfredo, fancy grilled cheeses, jalapeno burgers, potato soup), talk to matt when he goes to work and when he goes home, read the giant stack of books i have, watch my weekly shows, and relax with my own thoughts.

it's nice, actually. i am not one who would want to live alone, but it's a nice break, i suppose, to not be around anyone.

but this is not something i would want to do on a regular basis.

you know, it's still strange t think that after practically a year of pining, i got what i wanted. and oh, how good it feels. how good it feels to know that he did care for me all that time, that he cares more now.

the second night i was in colorado, we had a rather rough night and lied awake in his bed, holding each other, our faces close together, talking about the things we were afraid of. i heard him when he breathed out, barely audible, not meant for me to hear, i love you. i knew it only because i was staring at his lips, listening to his breathing.

i knew it was true and i know that he does. i know it and i know it and i know it, and oh, how good it feels.

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