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21.01.14 | 7:02 pm
and tonight, in my house all alone, rewatching the saddest episodes of girls, all i can think is: what is it about me that makes me special? why am i the first girl he's ever actually tried to be with? even though i'm states away? what is so special about me?
the past couple of days have been kind of a tailspin. those days where nothing you do is right, and all you can think about is your worthlessness and how nothing is going to go right for the upcoming semester.
i don't know what he sees in me.
i could write you a list for the reasons i like him. for valentine's day i've already made him these fourteen stupid, punny valentines in ms paint that are ridiculous and totally my style that i hope that he will like. i am his first valentine, you know, for real. i want it to be good.
how does anyone pick anyone? and how does anyone get so lucky to like someone the same moment that person likes them?
i don't know, but now it;'s 10:30 and i'm drunk and have to catch a plane in the morning to be a bridesmaid in a wedding for a friend i never thought would get married.
so life goes.