sleepy head
22.03.14 | 8:40 pm
i've taken emma to the dog park for the past two days. it's been so nice after such a long winter to be moving around outside in the sunshine.
i went to yoga this morning after not practicing for a couple of weeks. i felt good, so good. what a great way to start the morning! and then i ran around after emma at the dog park and it was just so relaxing.
most of the time lately i am really happy. it's so nice after so long of feeling slightly miserable. i know the niceness doesn't last, but i'm loving it while it's here.
i'm talking to this professor on wednesday about a job i want this summer. it's only for six weeks, but it pays about $3,000. if i get it, i'll have the chance to go to colorado and stay for almost a month at the end of the summer.
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while we were lying on my bed, my face turned away from him and a pillow over my head, he told me, "you're the first thing i've ever been really serious about."
he's getting everything ready so that he can finish up his degree, starting in the fall.
we talk about hypothetically living together, how we would want our house, what puppy he would want to get so that emma has a friend.
but i am scared to death to actually tell him i love him.
sure, he's basically said it to me multiple times. but they are all times that could have been accidental. slips of the tongue.
and i'm afraid if i say to him first, earnestly, i'll scare him.
we've been dating technically for over three months, but if you look at how we've been, it's actually been at least nine months. maybe closer to a year. it's weird to think about that way.
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my brain is tired.
i still have to write the rest of this midterm and work on my study guide, but i want to play don't starve or watch the venture bros.
it is always obvious, the marks people leave on me.
i have all my pillows stacked up on the side of the bed he slept on again.
i just miss having him here.