Living with intention.
29.04.14 | 10:13 pm
I've been thinking lately that I want to make a few overarching changes to my lifestyle.
For the most part, I'm pretty okay with the way I do things. However, I'm really bad at communication (as my boyfriend said the other night, "You talk so much all the time, but you're never talking about what matters to you or what bothers you"). I have the tendency to be really down on myself when it's not necessary (and really, it's never necessary at all). I've been sort of negative lately and allowed all my frustrations and feelings to get the better of me and really stress me out (which is, to be honest, 98% of my life).
I want to have intentions.
I want to work on being more positive and on reminding myself that I am good enough. I want to believe that, although I can always improve, I am good enough.
I want to start off as many days as possible with intentional positive thinking.
I want to believe in others, not be jealous of their success but happy for them, but also continue being happy for myself.
I want to spend more time offline and more quality time with the people I love.
I want to read more and seek to gain more knowledge, specifically in my field (teaching composition and English as a second language, as well as how to have successful classroom environments and how to help students succeed) and I want to read more that will improve my life (whether that is reading more fiction that I love or reading nonfiction about topics that interest me or could help me better myself).
I want to only hang on to the things I need (this applies to physical possessions as well as emotions).
I want my room to feel as homey and comfortable as possible. I want to somehow find a space in here dedicated to doing work.
I want to stop procrastinating and start thinking ahead (though not so ahead that I stress myself out about the future).
I want to be able to acknowledge the things that have happened to me--whether they were my own actions or actions that were done to me--and recognize how they have affected me, and I want to be able to move past them. To grow in spite of them.
I want to be a better communicator with everyone, but especially with my boyfriend. I want to truly understand him and I want to make him feel as good about himself as possible. I want to let him make me a better person.
I want to pay attention more to what Matt needs from me while also being more vocal about what I need from him and why.
I don't want to let negative things get to me as much as they typically do. I want to be able to recognize them for what they are and continue on.
I want to continue being healthier. I've already lost 15 lbs, I'm exercising at least a little every day, and I'm eating better. I want to keep this up and hopefully lose another 20-30 lbs in the process.
I want to be kind and make other people feel comfortable and happy. I want to refrain from making people feel bad about themselves in any way.
I want to further myself in school and my (future) career). I want to try as hard as possible in this upcoming semester to study for my orals, teach my own composition courses, teach my TESL course, and successfully (and happily) come out the other side (hopefully with a job offer).
I want to truly get to know myself. I want to figure out what it is that I really want out of my life and my future (though that is always subject to change).
I want to allow myself to feel all of my emotions as they rise but to also recognize them and truly understand why I'm feeling them.
I want to stop comparing myself to everyone around me. I am worth more than I give myself credit for.
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I want to be better and I am going to take steps in that direction. I've just got to figure out how to get there.
Hoping I can devote more attention to this when school gets out in a couple of weeks.