ldr or some shit
05.07.14 | 2:59 pm

i love being with my family most of the time (and will be in this house with them for the next two weeks), but it always reminds me now of the fact that matt doesn't really know them. that he's met them once in the seven months we've been dating and that the next time he will see them will be the one week he will be here in december.

thinking about it makes me want to cry. how could i move across the country with someone my family barely even knows?

and how do my friends ever get to know him? how is he ever going to really be friends with them, too?

this is me freaking out about the general future, about possibly leaving things behind, about having a boyfriend no one really knows anything about, about not being able to hang out with my family when i want.

i'm scared of a lot of things.

and it's no one's fault, nothing anyone can really do.

if i have to wait another four months after august to see him i may go crazy. this has been terrible in so many ways. so i think, maybe i'll go back to colorado on fall break. but what about all my other friends i want to see?

what about orlando, new orleans, washington dc?

long distance relationships are hard. that's an obvious thing.

i'm just so sad right now, knowing that, once again, i'll know his family better than he'll know my own, that i would be so far away from everyone i love.

i'm not looking for a solution, just trying to get it all out.

i just wish he could be here tonight to drink and watch fireworks with my family. that's all.

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