i'm never good with transitions
09.11.14 | 6:20 pm

my mom called me for a few minutes tonight. she was asking me about jobs and my oral exam.

she asked if i had heard anything more about the jobs, and i told her about how i'm in the next steps for this job in kentucky, and she seemed so sad about it.

she said, "i know that's not what you want to do."

and i said, "but if i get nothing in colorado, i can't pass up this opportunity."

"i know, i know..."


right now i'm half convinced that company is going to hate my teaching video, that they aren't going to move me forward after this step. i cried about it yesterday. i don't know.

my exam is in a week and a half. right now, i think i would pass maybe, but part of me is worried i'll hate myself if i don't get the distinction.

passing is passing, though. and i'm getting ridiculously drunk that night regardless.

i go back and forth thinking how wonderful it will be to live with matt to how wonderful it'll be to live by myself. how awful to live somewhere i have no one, or how terrible to be so far away from everyone.

i'm just ready for some certainty again.

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