headaches fuh'dayzzzzzzzzz
06.03.15 | 2:16 pm

sometimes i'm all like yeah yeah i get it and acceptance stuff

but then

like fuck, i really just want to be pretty sometimes.



i started keeping track of my eating again and have put forth a constant effort for exercise

but i've had this massive headache for two days straight

and i think it's from changing my habits

and it hurts so bad

but i just want to lose 10 lbs before i am in this stupid wedding this summer at least, man

they're like three and a half and four months away which is plenty, plenty of time


i try so hard to look at my body positively and sometimes i stand in front of the mirror and i truly love how i look, even my stupidly asymmetrical face

and then most of the time i hate everything about myself

like how my body folds over or won't stretch in certain ways

i love how good it feels in downward facing dog and hate how suffocating it can feel in child's pose

and i am lucky to have someone to consistently find me sexy, regardless, a sexy and fun personality and looking hot if i want to (or don't maybe)

but i am so tired of not loving myself fully


i keep telling myself, it's only 20 more lbs, it's only 30 more lbs

you lost over 20 last year, really just in six months, why can't you do that again?

why can't i just do that again?

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