i should probably take some medicine
28.08.15 | 6:53 pm
matt is taking me on a date on sunday. it's a surprise. we're going to a restaurant with a reservation and everything, and we get to dress nicely. i'm excited.
sometimes he tries really hard, but i feel like it always comes after i've had a huge blow up about how he doesn't try hard enough. i feel like that's life, though. you slack until you know you can't slack anymore.
i love him very deeply, but i worry this isn't the life i should be leading.
i had another interview for a full time job yesterday--a job i don't particularly want (plus it's rather far away and would cause a lot of stress). but i found myself thinking, if i got that job, i could be here for another year (enough time to really figure out if i'm happy here) (enough time to really figure out if this is what i want).
part of me just wants to go back home in january. part of me doesn't. everything feels very up in the air.
i don't know.
my stomach hurts.