i should probably take some medicine
28.08.15 | 6:53 pm

my stomach has been upset and grumbly for a few days, so tonight i'm just sitting on the couch with my eyes half open reading ridiculous articles on the internet.

matt is taking me on a date on sunday. it's a surprise. we're going to a restaurant with a reservation and everything, and we get to dress nicely. i'm excited.

sometimes he tries really hard, but i feel like it always comes after i've had a huge blow up about how he doesn't try hard enough. i feel like that's life, though. you slack until you know you can't slack anymore.

i love him very deeply, but i worry this isn't the life i should be leading.

i had another interview for a full time job yesterday--a job i don't particularly want (plus it's rather far away and would cause a lot of stress). but i found myself thinking, if i got that job, i could be here for another year (enough time to really figure out if i'm happy here) (enough time to really figure out if this is what i want).

part of me just wants to go back home in january. part of me doesn't. everything feels very up in the air.

i don't know.

my stomach hurts.

<< | >>