mo' money mo' problems (except not)
25.09.15 | 6:37 pm

noticed today that i've made $22,000 this year so far. i guess i can expect by the end of the year to make just over $30,000. it's weird, i guess, because i feel like i should be making more but also i didn't think i was making that much. i can't wait until i pay the rest of the $9,000 on my loan (which should be down to $6,500 by the end of this year) and then it will be amazing to see how much money i "have." my $13,500 graduate school loans should be gone by the end of next year, given that nothing substantial happens regarding my funds.

i asked my mom for an ipad for christmas--i mean, asked her to pay for half of it. my computer has literally, since last year, been breaking at the seams. it has several cracks, a huge row of pixels are dead, and i need something portable and and useful. she surprised me by saying that she's putting $250 in my account tomorrow, and no, it's not a present. it's just something she's giving me. for some reason, she feels guilty that she's helped all my brothers out so much this year (mainly for the three weddings) but she hasn't helped me. the difference is that i haven't needed any help. i think i'm literally the most self sufficient out of all six of us, or at least i'm the one who wants to do everything myself, work myself to the bone, and do what i want to do. but i'm thankful she's willing to help me.

last night, i was talking about being worried about having to pay for my own insurance come february and matt's response to this was, "i could put my wife on my insurance plan."

sometimes i just don't know. some days (i rarely write about them here) i feel so stable and secure and lucky and happy. and other days it feels like i'm never going to be happy or satisfied. is this just life, just me, or the situation?

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