summer
01.07.16 | 2:29 pm

it's the first of july. i think i should feel excited and ready to improve myself and be awesome for this second half of the year, especially after how i've felt after the last year and a half. but i'm not. i literally want to drink wine, watch hgtv or hulu, or just stare at the ceiling.

i guess that's to say that this isn't a good start.

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my boyfriend (yes, my boyfriend) is driving me crazy this week because he wants to talk to me all the time. har-dee-har-har. i don't want to talk to anyone on the phone four times a day. and text. it's exhausting, especially when they aren't productive conversations. i just wanna be left alone until i feel like the needy one, i guess.

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i have 13 more days before i head back to colorado. this has been an interesting summer. i have driven 1,700 miles (not counting the 1,100 miles it took to get here). i haven't been very productive in terms of my job or of my well being (but i have been running again). on the other hand, i have seen most of my favorite people at least twice at this point. and i think that's important. but i'm exhausted, and i've felt that way all summer, and i am not sure people understand that. i should be less tired and more excited that people want to see me. be grateful.

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i am trying to meditate. i am trying to learn to take things as they come. i am trying really hard to convince myself that i am fine, in hopes that one day it will feel true.

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