29.07.16 | 2:43 pm

i saw the avett brothers last night at red rocks. my first show at that fantastic venue, but my fourth time seeing them live. they played several emotionalism songs, which i belted out, and they sang a cover of band of horses "no one's gonna love you." it was beautiful. no one around me knew any of the emotionalism songs though, so it felt like my voice was louder than it should've been.

i went with my boyfriend, who doesn't really listen to them anyway. i was mad at him too, because that morning i asked him not to be grumpy, let's have a good day, but when i was being silly and stupid i offended him and he went on a long rant that ended with "and you obviously don't give a shit about me." naturally, i was upset, and it took until he bought me wine at the show to loosen up.

anytime we go and have plans to do things, something happens to ruin it. he's starting to feel it too. he's starting to see the frayed edges. he's starting to feel the cracks in the foundation.

or maybe he's not. what do i know.

i've been having say yes to the dress on in the background while doing my work. it's kind of depressing.

john and dacia are getting married in october and they are a couple i actually believe in. that feels nice. they actually seem very suited for each other.

i know i've said it before, but i do love matt. but i don't feel like we're compatible. that we get along well.

and here we are, stuck in a lease we can't really afford to get out of.

i wish he had given me more of the break that i wanted in may. i wanted to not talk at least every other day. that only happened once. i guess i could've been more aggressive about it. it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, but by the end of the summer it felt all right. maybe because i knew i still had him. who knows.

i have to write grammar quizzes. school starts for me on monday.

<< | >>