here is the fallout
21.01.17 | 3:37 pm

I'm sitting in the target parking lot, sad that I'm not in Denver for the women's march, sad that I don't have the kind of life here where I can rally with other people I love and feel like I'm making some kind of difference.

I'm sad my friends here are the kind of people who text to ask to hang out and when you answer, they never reply.

I'm sad I'm going to have my third birthday in Denver and I only have maybe 5 people I'd even want to invite.

I'm sad that I fought with my boyfriend last night and as I sat there and cried he did nothing besides ignore it.

I'm sad I've made him sad just because I said we should talk about a lot of future issues before we move back to Kentucky so we can be on the same page.

I'm sad that all I want is to have someone's house I could go to and cry and complain and feel comforted and I don't have that here.

I want to go home.

I'm sad that it feels like this "adventure" here isn't worth it. I'm sad that I'm also feeling bad about my desire to move back.

I'm sad that my boyfriend seems to fundamentally misunderstand me as a person.

I'm sad that he can't figure out a birthday present to get me even though EVERY time I see something I like, I make a POINT to say how much I like it so that he can put it in his mind as something to get me.

I'm sad I'll probably have to plan my own birthday event.

I'm really, really sad that will probably never change.

I'm really sad that I can't appreciate my boyfriend for the nice things he does. I'm sad that all I see is how he doesn't understand what I want or need.

I'm sad that all I wanted was to have a relaxing, fun night in last night and that's not even possible.

I'm sad I go shopping and look at all these clothes I want to buy and go out in, because we literally never actually go out. We don't go on dates. There is nowhere to wear these things.

I bought a dress today anyway.

I'm sad every time it feels like we "talk" about our issues, that's all it is. Nothing. Ever. Changes.

I just want to listen to the Avett Brothers, drink wine, and cry.

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