bad thoughts and feelings
12.07.17 | 2:21 pm

right now, i feel trapped in a swirl of self-loathing.

i cried for hours last night. matt and i texted back and forth and it made us both feel a little bit better.

took nyquil to make myself fall asleep at a reasonable time last night. the crying might have helped.

and now i have so many things to do today and so many calls to make except my phone doesn't have service here.

and all i want is fettuccine alfredo and breadsticks from fazoli's so i can drown all my sorrows in carbs.

i sent off the first official draft for the wedding saturday and am terrified.

i woke up on the wrong side of the bed recognizing everything that is wrong about me that i desperately need to change.

nothing is good enough and i'm never going to be good enough, the end.

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