i think i'm doing dating wrong
13.08.17 | 9:19 pm

i booked my ticket to colorado for the wedding and now i'm down about it. i keep on getting hit randomly by reasons to be sad about the breakup. it's like a delayed reaction. i was going through so much at the time of the actual breakup with the moving and whatnot that i didn't have time to slow down and really feel it. so i made nachos tonight and it just reminded me of him and how i made him nachos and accidentally burned them. i'm doing the kind of face mask i always did at night in our apartment. i miss hugging on molly and having my feet in his lap and emma on mine.

it doesn't matter that this weekend i spent the night in a hotel with this dude who seems to like me a quite a bit. i still can't figure out if i even really like him at all, but it was nice to drink wine together and talk and hear him talk to me in french and what have you. he asked me what my favorite quality about myself was and the first thing i could think of was that most people like me.

he also told me he hadn't been with anyone in two years and here i am just wanting to have a good time and recognizing that if he asks for some kind of commitment that i'll probably run really quickly in the other directions.

life is weird.

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