15.08.17 | 5:42 pm

here is what i'm feeling right now:

i left a good place that i liked, a job that i loved (with kids who loved me back, with a staff and an administration who loved me back), and a person who was good to me (who i may have no longer been in love with, who still took care of me, who was my best companion), the perfect weather that was good for my skin and my hair, my second dog who i loved and who i would lie down in the floor just to cuddle with, a bunch of coworkers who loved me, a very small group of friends who were sometimes there for me, the person who would massage my feet since they hurt so much right now and who would help me build a bookshelf and understand when i got anxious and my feelings built up and who would let me rant about my bad day but would listen and listen and would make me dinner or even get up early to make me breakfast sometimes -

i left all of those things and right now, this very second, it feels like it was the absolute wrong decision.

i thought that i would make this decision and suddenly i would feel free and happy, but i don't. i'm miserable. i'm just as miserable as i was in colorado - possibly more so.

what did i do?

<< | >>