21.08.17 | 9:49 pm

i actually had quite a good day today, but now i'm sitting here sad, maybe because i talked to matt on the phone, maybe because i graded for three hours, or because i couldn't find the yoga mat. who knows.

the point, though, is that online dating is stupid, i don't understand how anyone is supposed to even like anyone else (let alone at the same time), and relationships make absolutely no sense. there is no hope.

not that i even need hope because i'm tired, exhausted always, and i have no time for any of it.

but i don't like being alone. though to be fair, in this house, it's practically impossible to be alone or have any privacy.

and also to be fair, probably the reason why i don't like any of these people is because i'm not in a space to like any of these people.

why am i trying to push myself into being completely fine? why am i trying to push myself into my next relationship?

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