you can never leave
15.09.17 | 8:27 pm

for the first hour i'm with you, i'm holding back tears, trying to laugh instead of cry. and then, in the car, magic: hotel california comes on the radio, the same song i used to yell at your radio to play almost every time i got in. and i sang and you let me and it felt okay.

now i'm alone in the hotel room after spending almost the entire day with you, remembering why i loved you so much, and also remembering why i was so unhappy with you. and i'm crying.

i had to tell so many people at the party tonight how we knew each other, and tell them that no, we aren't together, and it was tiring.

every time i bring anything up, i say, "this might be weird, but..."

and when i said, "i'm going to be weird and ask you to tell me when you get home," you said, "it's not weird - just pretend we're friends who know each other really well." because we are.

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