tarot, horoscopes, etc.
09.01.18 | 5:30 pm

after we broke up, i spent the next six months obsessing over horoscopes and tarot cards and personality tests - more than usual, i should say. my friends would read my tarot and i'd make decisions based solely on the reading, feeling it to be right down in my gut. i'd read my horoscope in the morning and make decisions on who to talk to and when and how much, on what kinds of action to take or not take. i'd ask people to take personality tests so i could measure our personalities against in each other - how are we alike, how are we different, how will we get along?

now, in the new year, it's hardly holding my interest. i read my horoscope and think along the lines of "fuck this useless shit." i sit down to do my own tarot and it barely holds my attention for more than five minutes.

i was searching so hard for something to give me a direction, some sense of where to go and what to do. but it doesn't exist, not really.

you just have to figure it out for yourself. and i don't know how to do that.

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