happy 30th birthday
07.03.18 | 8:09 pm

remember when you would come home late from work, and i would be in one of my inescapable moods of sadness, where i had gotten home and laid down on the couch and not moved until it was an acceptable time to drink three or four glasses of wine, and even before you walked through the door, you could hear the music i was blasting from inside the apartment? and you'd come in, see that state i was in, and let me keep drinking, let me switch songs thirty seconds in, let me try to scream the lyrics loudly enough to bury everything deep inside.

it feels like that tonight, but there's no one coming home to me to hold me when it's time to finally, fitfully cry myself to sleep.

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