wow, two updates in one day! what could warrant that - oh holy fuck
15.07.18 | 7:27 pm

today is some bullshit.

i don't know what i did to the universe to deserve this*, but OKAY.

*actually, i'm trying to get out of the habit of thinking about things in terms of the universe and what it may or may not be giving me based on my own actions and thoughts and feelings. the other day, i messaged a friend and said, "i don't know what i'm putting in into the universe, but i am KILLING it" in regards to my dating/sex life because, well, it's been a bit more active than usual lately. and fun, i should say.


in reality, it's fine - what happened to me today, regarding my face and the top of my poor dog's head, is actually fine. and it'll likely be even more fine than it is right now by the end of the week. perhaps better than before! we'll see.

i'm glad i didn't finish my wine last night because after today, i really needed it.

all this is to say: i had to miss my nephew's birthday party, i had to go to an emergency dentist, and the world is a crazy, random place where nothing makes sense or is fair. and that, my friends, is some bullshit.



actually not the end because:

sometimes i think that i should try to write and speak more eloquently like i used to. and then i get really rebellious about it and think, i'm really fucking smart to begin with (okay, i'm like, a decent amount of smart, you get it), and i feel no need to double down and prove it to anyone. and in reality i'm probably doing the less eloquent speaking and writing because i want to prove to people that i don't have to prove to them how smart i am.

and then i reread through that and roll my eyes so hard at myself that they get stuck in the back of my head.

it's fine.

some days i feel so old but some days i feel so, so young.

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