i've (unknowingly) slept with a married person now, i guess
14.08.18 | 7:14 pm

so, he's married.

it doesn't matter if he's only still married because if he's not, he'll lose his visa. it doesn't matter if they hate each other. it doesn't matter.

i thought i was doing well - not getting crazy carried away, feeling so calm and secure - i felt so fucking secure! how stupid could i be! - and it still hurts.

it still really fucking hurts.

(well, i mean, who wouldn't really like me (or anyone else) when they hate their wife already?)

no wonder it felt so different, so refreshing. it was different. it was refreshing (especially for him).

i have to stop dating for a while. i have to do something.

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