still on my mind
17.08.18 | 6:58 am

i feel like a garbage person this morning. i’m listening to “pretty girl at the airport” which always makes me think of matt, and that makes me sad.

it’s so strange to find someone who makes you feel so good about yourself in such a short time. the way he looked at me, the things he said - they made me feel so good. made me think he was lucky to be with me.

but when one big thing turns out to be a lie, it all feels like a lie. and it can be a blow.

it’s weird to think that as of yesterday, i’ve only known he exists for a week. he wants to call me sometimes. i think what i sent yesterday mostly cut off the contact. for the best.

it was nice to feel for a few days like i had something secure for once.

i think in a few years down the line maybe i’ll reread this and think how silly i am.

*i do really enjoy more how i look these days, and i don’t need the validation from someone else, but it sure can help.

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