06.09.18 | 6:21 pm

turns out i love the textbook for my methods and materials for teaching english class and now i want to go off and get a third master's in linguistics or a phd in something off in europe because...

it seems i can only think of my future in terms of blocks of time (certain degrees taking 2-5 years, for example, or this teaching in france program). it's easier to digest that way.

it gives me less choice, i think.

i was thinking earlier about how i tie other people to my opportunities, like i see my relationships through this lens of "this is where my life can go." eric: murray. matt: colorado. that random dude mish: england. it dramatically decreases the stakes in the choices i have to make. the choices are clearer.

now, on my own, these choices are much harder. much more difficult. because they only depend on, rely on me. [how, how, how terrifying.]

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