20.09.18 | 4:47 pm

i now have $4,500 in student loan debt again.

all in all, that's actually fine. it's a reasonable number for a whole second master's degree (considering i paid the first year out of pocket). and it'll be paid off by this time next year. i just hate the feeling of being indebted in one way or another. it's why i worked three jobs and made $1,000+ a month payments on my first student loan i had fresh out of grad school the first time.

i also have $732 in credit card debt, so actually the number is $5,232.

i spent $133 on two tickets to see jason isbell in december even though i have no one to go with. that's wishful thinking, i suppose. and i'm still trying to see if i can configure a way for me to see death cab in indianapolis in december. it's been ten years nearly since i saw them last.

the avett brothers concert is next saturday. i am so, so, so ready and excited for it. the next day i go to nashville, and the day after that i fly to charleston for vacation.


i'm very tired, if i'm honest.

i know that i have too much on my plate -- that i'm putting too much on my plate. i'm trying to do too many things at once.

i'm trying to run 4-5 days a week, do yoga every day, walk emma every day, practice french every day and also have french lessons with a tutor at least twice a week, have my two grad school classes for three hours every week and all of the homework that goes with that, finish last year's stupid fucking yearbook that's finally almost done, fill out this application for teaching in france next year, plan and grade for my classes, be a person who hangs out with her family and with her friends regularly, actually read books, try out other possible interests like drawing (even though i haven't touched my ukulele or piano in months)...

i don't even have dating thrown into the equation right now!

really, isn't this obnoxious, some girl just listing all the things she has to do and saying she's tired. sigh.

i just realized that i have an assignment for one of my classes due today - an interview with a special ed teacher and it's supposed to be 2-3 pages single spaced. fuck.

there are so many things in life that we'll never have the time to do and lately this just makes me incredibly sad.


i need a really good flash card app to help me with french vocabulary.

i'm going to take nyquil in an hour and a half and sleep really well tonight.

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