enough
30.09.18 | 10:39 am

they played "morning song" again -- the song that struck me nearly one year ago when we saw them in st. louis, right after matt told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore, that he couldn't. it doesn't hurt so bad anymore, but it was more than i expected it would be.

i jokingly asked sue ellen, what if my soulmate sits next to me today? and, fittingly, for the first twenty or so minutes... the seat next to me was empty.

we spent a lot of our day walking around campus, reminiscing about college, when we lived together -- truly, some of the happiest years of my life. living with my best friend, down the road from my grad school friends, there was time, and i spent it well. back in 2013, dating apps were still thought of as desperate, so instead of dating -- there was no one to date, really -- i focused entirely on my studies and on being with my lovely, lovely friends. and it was fantastic.

i turned my tinder back on friday night, and i feel so little toward it. i feel like my brain, my heart, they're back in a good place. a place where i don't need anyone, but i wouldn't mind a conversation, a coffee (well, in my case, tea).

it's good, it's really good to feel like being with the people i love is enough. singing to the avett brothers with sue ellen is enough. walking around wku and talking about our former years is enough. making plans to move back to bowling green and live in a big house together... it's enough.

it's all i need.

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