i’m three weeks in
13.10.19 | 1:04 am

sometimes i work myself up so much about how terrible my french is (and, actually, it’s not so terrible) that i physically make my stomach hurt.

but while walking to the dinner that was organized for my colleagues and the other assistants, you sent me a voice message laughing, telling me not to stress, that my french was good and you always understood me, that everything was going to be fine.

and with that, i felt the muscles in my shoulders relax. and when i met up with sarah first for a pre-dinner drink, i continued speaking in french even when i stumbled, and i continued on through most of the dinner, and it was wonderful.

we have a group chat now, the three assistants who work in the same schools in villeneuve, and we’re going to all eat lunch together on monday.

and i’ve been invited out to a jazz night on thursday.

and i’ve been invited to karaoke.

and i’ve been invited to see other cities.

and two nights ago i went salsa dancing (poorly) with some friends and remembered that mojitos are actually delicious.

people are so welcoming if you let them be. i am so thankful that i was placed here, surrounded by these people who are becoming my friends. i do not have to worry here.

i have stopped prefacing french conversations with, “je suis désolée, mon français est pas très fort,” (i’m sorry, my french isn’t very strong), and i’ve just started stumbling through it.

last night i watched the french version of the game show don’t forget the lyrics.

i am trying to surround myself, i am trying to immerse. i keep myself from only listening to or watching things in english.

and i think it’s working.

and to think, i considered skipping that dinner because i was so nervous i made my stomach hurt.

i am capable here.

i can do it.

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