i watched season two of the end of the fucking world today
09.11.19 | 4:50 pm
this week has been long and it feels like i haven't had time to take a breath. dinners and trips and exercise and drinks... there hasn't been a spare moment.
i often find myself quite nervous here. lacking confidence. when i'm in the car with angela and another teacher, on the way to orange to an outdoor edm concert, i stumble on my answers to her questions, and i know i go in the wrong direction but i keep talking until there's nothing left to say and we move on.
but at the dinner, with a couple of glasses of wine making my cheeks flush a bit redder (or was that the cold?), i can talk freely, i can answer questions, i can ask and further the conversation. i can participate. i can make people laugh when i can't remember the word for "middle" ("milieu") or at my pronunciation of "louisville" ("luhl-vuhl").
and when we make our way out into the cold for the music, i can bounce around and dance and not worry about what i look like. when the new song comes on, i can jump up and down and sing, "i don't care! i love it!" to my friends.