je ne me rappelle pas
18.12.19 | 6:57 pm


received 38 emails from diaryland today telling me about all these notes i’ve gotten over the...last year?

having bad feelings about my body.

feeling a bit lonely. invited vincent out but he had plans. and also i don’t think he really wants to see me anymore. which is fine. i’m more looking forward to friday with omar.

but it’s gotten...exhausting. dating. again.

i’m going to take a break again. the new year to my birthday. it will be good for my brain.

having a lot of bad feelings about my body.

bruno told me, “i like large bodies.” and that’s fine - you like what you like, right? and it’s not wrong - most things i wear are a size large. so i have a large body. and to be fair, english is his third language.

but.

why can’t someone just tell me, “i like your body”? why is it always something like, “i like large bodies”? “i like big thighs”? “i like big tits”?

it’s not important. not really.

but still.

anyway. i’m officially on vacation. it’s officially the end of the semester for me. and that’s nice.

i’m tired.

i liked that omar and i just had two drinks at a bar and called it a night. that he texted me right after he returned home. that we immediately made another date. i like that he doesn’t speak english well. that he likes my accent.

it probably won’t go anywhere. (especially since he’s probably moving to paris in february.)

but it’s nice to think that it might.


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