is this the way it’s always destined to go?
14.03.20 | 7:55 am

i know that this won’t actually work out the way i want it to. sure, we may spend most of our days talking to each other, but as we’ve said, we’re just two people who are too available.

when my phone lights up, i want it to be you — you, sending me a picture of the beach during your muffin break; you, explaining why you love elaine from seinfeld; you, telling me translations in french or asking for translations in english.

i don’t think i’m what you’re looking for, in a lot of ways. and in one way in particular. and i can still see your message from december: “i know it’s stupid, but i’m not looking for anything romantic right now.”

but i have dreams about you holding me. about me holding you in my arms.

and i want to know what it would be like if you touched me, beyond your cheek upon mine when we say hello or goodbye.

we’ve slowed down on talking about our dating lives. i don’t know if anything has unfolded with the girl at your gym. and nothing is happening on my side by choice.

when i told you we made a friend at the bar, your first question was: “a boy or girl friend?”

but i have to get it out of my head that it means anything.

because it doesn’t have to mean anything.

it doesn’t.

it doesn’t.

<< | >>