18.03.20 | 9:25 am

i'm trying to keep myself busy.

working out three times a day: yoga, hiit, then 100 each of squats, dead lifts, crunches, and push ups. if i keep my body moving, if i tire myself out, my brain will relax.

emma is calmer than she ever has been, even with the decreased walks. normally, we walk at least an hour a day, if not two. now, we're lucky if it's thirty minutes. (we have to have the paper, the permit now, to walk outside.) but because i'm home all day, she's... okay. she's fine. she's relaxed. it's humbling to know that this is how she feels safe.

i'm also reading. right now, i'm in the middle of three books: little women, l'etranger, and another french book filled with short short stories.

i'm trying to practice french but mostly failing at that. you do better with languages when you have people to actually talk to. need to get back on tandem, start sending voice messages, something. i have two courses online i'm trying to do to improve myself but when it's self-directed, i tend to fail. tell me what to do, world. i need it.

i want to do more tarot, actually study what the cards mean, and study more about astrology while i have the time.

last night i drank the last of my wine, and i won't be going to the grocery again for at least a week. i have enough food to last me for a couple weeks if need be.

i can still go outside. walk emma. do what i need to do. so that's comforting. we can get some fresh air when need be.

kayley has started video calling me every morning while she gets ready and while i eat lunch. it's been lovely.

this is going to be okay.

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