today i
07.04.20 | 7:04 pm
-did yoga
-ate a healthy breakfast
-ran a mile with emma
-ran a mile and a half by myself
-ran another half mile with emma to round out to a 5K
-did my bodyweight strength exercises
-ate a healthy lunch
-taught five classes
-took emma on another walk
-facetimed kayley
-listened to the bass coming from my neighbor's apartment for (going on) 6 hours (now) (it's not even that loud, it's just...constant)
-got a caffeine headache
-had the headache get worse because of the music
-ate a horrible dinner
-started the laundry
-thought about reading my book
-browsed reddit instead
-got mad at myself about that
-ate about six cookies
-felt bad about not receiving the attention i wanted
-went down a thought spiral about how if anyone actually liked me it would be more obvious and so i should just stop trying because there's literally no point to any of this, ever, at all
-got mad at emma for growling at every little sound
-felt really bad about getting mad at emma because it's all my fault that she does that to begin with
-got sad about how you don't actually like me even though i already knew this and it has always been true
-got mad at myself for ever letting myself think otherwise
-felt incredibly alone today after seeing two of my friends running with each other
-felt incredibly alone today after not receiving the responses i wanted from you
-felt incredibly alone today after resigning myself to this life forever
-felt incredibly alone today
-felt incredibly alone
-felt alone
today