09.04.20 | 9:27 pm

recognize that this is how it is going to be, that it won’t be how it once was again. there is a kind of peace here, knowing things won’t move forward, knowing the space you now occupy is the space you’ll continue to occupy. there’s nothing to be done.

more than anything, i miss the touch of another person. i miss the energy i get from being around other people, how happy it makes me, how jolted my body feels after the fact. it feels like i’m in some sort of sadness cocoon, cut off from everything that makes life enjoyable.

i need other people more than i like to admit.

a nice thing: i’m reading the sun is also a star, but in french. it’s really adorable so far, a hundred pages in — these are the only kinds of stories i can handle right now. someone seeing you and thinking it’s a sign, the averted glances, the slowly-made connection. i wish it were real for me.

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