these thoughts in my head
16.05.20 | 10:11 pm

i often have a very specific kind of monologue happening in my head.

whenever i am analyzing bits of myself — why i am the way i am, things that have happened in the past, what i want for the future — my brain creates a conversation.

so all the things i’m thinking about are directed to someone else, as though i’m explaining myself to them.

typically, it’s someone who doesn’t know me quite so well yet, but someone i want to know me better

for example, i just made a run down of some of my biggest flaws. and i went through them one by one, as though i were telling them to you. and your reactions here aren’t what’s important — it’s how i’m choosing to share myself with you that matters.

but now?

i need a new recipient for my inner brain conversations. i don’t want to think about giving any more pieces of myself over to you, not even in my head, because i know you don’t want them.

so i need a new recipient. a new brain partner. who shall i choose...

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