it’s not a great day
17.05.20 | 6:17 pm

i spent most of today listless, full of misplaced energy, unable to concentrate on reading or conversations with friends or even youtube videos.

i made myself walk emma for a while, did 70 squats, 70 deadlifts, 70 pushups, and 70 crunches, and then a half hour tae bo video (calling back to my high school years with billy blanks in the dvd player in my parent’s bedroom).

i had interspersed bouts of crying and laughing while i completed the workout.

then had a shower.

and now i have wine.

everything is back to feeling useless, like there’s no reason to do anything anymore. i can’t wait until i’m home and actually with other people again.

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