i’m gonna be just fine
26.05.20 | 8:00 am

you keep creeping into my dreams now. sometimes you reach over and hold my hand. or you place your hand on my back as i introduce you to my family. or you let me lay my head in your lap and fall asleep.

i am ready to be home. less than a week now — in five days i will land in new york. (and then rent a car and drive fourteen hours home.)

it’s better that we’re not really talking now.

i reread a lot of diary entries last night (i am making a list of the people i’ve “dated”, so many of whom i’d forgotten) and i got to two key things that started this for me: you remembered my birthday and then on the seven hour train ride i had back from bordeaux, i spent my time completely on the phone with you.

i did some tarot last night about my love life, and overall, the themes were really positive. they reminded me of my challenges with being alone, that my future is filled with friendship and community, that i know i need to take a step back from everything. it was comforting.

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