27.05.20 | 11:53 am

i didn't mention that in the latest dream, you didn't actually want me. so i think my brain is coming to terms with it all.

i've begun packing, cleaning the apartment, throwing things out. today i'll go out shopping with tito for my last souvenirs and some books for the trip, and on friday i'll go to lisa's house for lunch and to sit by the pool, and then friday night -- my last night here -- we'll celebrate tito's birthday and my leaving. at this point i'm ready.

i just booked my new york hotel, and i need to book my rental car. i can't wait to stop and pick up a spicy chicken sandwich with a lot of mayo and pickles, something i've legitimately missed (there is practically no spicy food here). i want to see my family, particularly the little ones.

yesterday, one of the teachers (celine) took me to boulbon and we did a nice little two hour hike together to the moulin at the top of the giant hill, and we talked in french the whole time about what i liked here and why i want to come back and what i did before this and what i want to do in the future. she gave me a beautiful bracelet. she was very kind.

i'm really very, very tired.

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