01.06.20 | 9:51 pm

after three days of travel (trains, planes, and rental cars), i am finally home, in my old bed, but in a new room, with emma and already my niece addi.

a beautiful pink sunset welcomed me back into my home town.

i'm very thankful to be here, to have a family full of people who are so excited to see me and eat the french candy i've brought home.

soon, i'll write about my last night in avignon and learning bachata and singing karaoke and how much i love all my wonderful friends, how lucky i am to have so many people to love.


i'm not sure how to feel about this, but one of the first things i did when i got home was weigh myself.

i lost fifteen-ish pounds while i was in france.

i weigh the same as i did at the end of grad school, after consciously (debatedly obsessively) exercising and watching what i ate for six months.

just a few weeks ago, during a bad day, i was looking at pictures of myself from that time, thinking how cute i was then, how disgusting i am now. but i am, essentially, in this way, the same.

i don't know how to feel about it. and i don't know how my future self is going to react about it.

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