habits and gratefulness
04.08.20 | 8:25 pm

i am officially back at work. no students yet (and we are probably starting virtually in three weeks). i am just playing catch-up in terms of planning the trimester: rereading beowulf and the numerous short stories i want to assign, matching standards with assignments, trying to figure out if i will end up expecting too much from my students in the middle of a still-raging pandemic.

but it feels good to be productive, to have real habits in place. wake up at 6. shower. do yoga and/or walk the dog. make breakfast, get ready, and drive to school. work from 8-3. go home, have a snack, and do your workout. shower again probably if you're sweaty. make a healthy dinner with enough leftovers for lunch the next day. watch some youtube (preferably french) or netflix while you eat. practice french, either on the apps or with your workbook or with your new french journal you haven't used yet. be in bed by 9 in order to read for an hour before you go to sleep.

i know it will get old at some point, but for now i am grateful to be getting back into the swing of things. i feel more productive when i'm busy. but i haven't had any hurdles yet that will hold me back and have be berating myself.

it took a couple of days but the comments from old coworkers on my weight have now started. i am trying to take it all as gracefully and graciously as possible, i suppose.

actually, i would honestly like to start making my mind focus on things i'm grateful for more often. my brain is so susceptible to negative thought spirals that i think it might actually be helpful.

so here is what i am grateful for in this moment:

i am grateful that my dog, who is snoring peacefully on my bed, is such a good little traveler and that she has been cuddling me more in the middle of the night.
i am grateful that this room actually has a slight chill right now because it has been really very stuffy and hot lately.
i am grateful that my parents are willing to support me (even if i struggle with it because it makes me feel less independent, or as though they see me as less independent, even though that is not actually the case) and that they let me live here without a second thought.
i am grateful that sitting up straight is so much easier nowadays as compared to even last year because my daily yoga practice and my strength workouts are doing wonders for my posture.
i am grateful for the ability to run and clear my head and rid my body of excess, anxious energy. it has truly helped calm down my brain in the recent months in a way nothing else does. i am so happy to be doing it again. (and my calf is almost totally better!)
finally, i am grateful for cold, cold water and how good it tastes and how nice it makes my body feel.

now i'm off to read more franny and zooey.

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