-
16.06.21 | 9:10 pm
being real sad about a bunch of stuff right now, so i’m rewatching his special while drinking some wine and feeling sorry for myself.
wishing people were more upfront when even i don’t reach that standard.
feeling like all of this is karma for not being kind enough to matt when we were together.
even if it’s ridiculous
excited to see kayley this weekend but not excited for a seven point five hour drive one way.
i am ready for a full week-end at home, alone, with myself in my room.
where i can complain about being by myself.
truthfully so much of this special reflects how i felt when i truly felt crazy alone in france from march - june 2020 and then again in november - december 2020 when my panic attacks started (not that i’ve fully had one since… so that’s good).
i think maybe i’m in a really negative headspace and i gotta figure this shit out